When I first imagined this page, I wanted to begin by telling you the story of a llama named Paradoxia, who loved the sound of his own voice so much... he never actually heard it.
Alas...
I decided to ease you into this side of me a little more gently.
Most people who encounter Truth Allegiance meet the architecture first.
The blueprints.
The systems.
The inquiries.
The diagrams.
What they rarely meet...
...is the person quietly laughing while building them.
Here's something that may surprise you.
God didn't only give me blueprints.
But He didn't give me humour either.
He gave me honesty.
And for reasons I still don't fully understand...
people often find my honesty funny long before they realise I wasn't trying to be.
I rarely tell jokes.
I simply describe reality exactly as I genuinely experience it.
Apparently...
that is enough.
So, if you've only met the architecture...
allow me to introduce you to the architect.
Not a different person.
The same person.
Just the one who occasionally imagines God calling across Heaven,
"Girrrrrrrrl... 'bout dat time!"
The one who firmly believes llamas deserve better public representation.
The one who has spent an unreasonable amount of time explaining why llamas and alpacas are not the same animal.
The one who once confidently believed Argentina was somewhere in Europe.
The one who experiences mild psychological distress every time a GPS says,
"Recalculating..."
because, quite frankly...
direction and I entered into a mutual agreement many years ago that neither of us would interfere with the other's life.
The one who regulates emotions with .
Don't ask.
It makes perfect sense where I come from.
Well...
inside my head, anyway.
The one who genuinely loses all composure every time Spider-Man starts moonwalking.
The one who still laughs uncontrollably because, many years ago, my cousin looked at a man walking past and casually said,
"He looks like an onion."
No explanation.
No context.
No follow-up.
Just...
"He looks like an onion."
To this day...
I still have absolutely no idea what an onion-looking person is supposed to look like.
I have considered many possibilities.
None of them explain it.
Perhaps she was hungry.
Only God knows.
Despite what this website may have led you to believe...
I do, in fact, participate in perfectly normal human behaviour.
I scroll.
I share memes.
I laugh far more than I probably should.
Sometimes at things that make perfect sense.
Sometimes at things that make absolutely no sense.
Apparently my nervous system isn't particularly selective.
And Can We Talk About Words for a Minute?
I have questions.
Not theological questions.
Linguistic ones.
For example...
Who sat around one day and decided the word squiggle was appropriate?
Squiggle.
Say it slowly.
Squiggle.
The more you say it...
the less convinced I become that it's an actual word.
I genuinely think someone sneezed during a committee meeting and everyone simply agreed to keep it.
And don't even get me started on words like...
anthropomorphization.
Really?
That was the best we could do?
There wasn't a shorter meeting?
Or perhaps someone halfway through simply said,
"You know what... Let's just keep adding syllables until people give up."
I imagine the inventor proudly presenting it to everyone.
"Ladies and gentlemen... I present... anthropomorphization."
Everyone else:
"..."
"Brilliant."
Meanwhile I'm over here wondering whether whoever invented squiggle and anthropomorphization knew each other.
Because I have questions.
Many questions.
None of which I expect to be answered.
Only God knows.
Don't get me started on medieval bathing intervals.
I love history.
I simply wish history had loved soap a little more.
What Did Jesus Laugh At?
Another thought visits me from time to time.
What did Jesus laugh at?
We spend so much time thinking about His miracles.
His teachings.
His compassion.
His sacrifice.
He is God.
And...
He was also fully human.
Surely He laughed.
Surely the disciples said ridiculous things.
Surely Peter did... well... Peter things.
And sometimes my imagination wanders.
If someone stood just a little too close while talking...
Did Jesus ever quietly think,
"Bruh... your breath's hot."
I genuinely don't know.
Sometimes my imagination wanders to the wedding at Cana.
Jesus quietly turns water into wine.
No announcement.
No fanfare.
Just...
Water.
Wine.
Problem solved.
And somewhere in the back of my mind...
I imagine Him taking a sip...
looking toward Heaven...
with the biggest grin...
and saying,
"That wine though... Heaven... You came through."
Because I don't believe holiness removes humanity.
If anything...
I think perfect humanity probably laughed more beautifully than we do.
The Wardrobe Consultation
I often wonder what I'd say if Jesus suddenly appeared in front of me.
And yes...
I have a script.
It goes something like this.
"Lord... I love You. Truly... I do. But... ...we need to talk about Your wardrobe."
The hair?
Absolutely not.
The hair stays.
Locks are timeless.
But those sandals...
Lord...
Respectfully...
No.
We're going shopping.
I'm thinking...
A couple of Henleys.
Some well-fitted Levi's.
A pair of Sambas.
Maybe a rust polo...
it would really bring out Your eyes.
Trust me.
I know.
It's probably a good thing He hasn't asked for my opinion.
But if He ever does...
I'm ready.
Heaven's got jokes.
Mine just happen to include offering the King of Kings a wardrobe consultation.
If you've spent enough time reading this website...
you may have started imagining someone impossibly serious.
I'm not.
I simply think in architecture.
I laugh in absurdity.
And somewhere between those two places...
I have found an extraordinary God who, I suspect, has been smiling long before I realised He was telling the joke.
Because the truth is...
Heaven's got jokes.
Mine just seem to take the shape of a pressure release valve...
inside a very large mechanism called Truth.
Perhaps that's exactly where they belong.
Now... about that llama named Paradoxia... 🦙