The 1st
Quarrie Heirloom

Good morning Family 😍🙏🏾All Praise be to God our Father and Father of our Lord Jesus, Provider of the Holy Spirit 😍🤗 Family, this morning I have the Grace from God to share a thought that is filtering out of my being. The thought is challenging me to understand more of how much more I can present the overwhelming desire to express our gratitude as you parents and grandparents, mum and I. We believe now as your parents that children are indeed a blessing from God, however, as you all understand that mum and I first met when we were teenagers and during a time when our country South Africa was being serviced by the domineering policies of Apartheid and coming out devastating civil unrest between Indians and Africans and we mum and I were both born in the aftermath of unrest.

Family values were deteriorated by effect the unrest and the hard handed Apartheid policies that divided families and communities to a precipice of deparation. The Multitude of families chose to rather adhere to those derogatory policy than die opposing the discriminatory laws. None the less there were many other families of people who stood up in defence of the culture of family values which were underpinning the government of those days and most of them were tortured or killed by that insane aspirations of a group of individuals who assumed that they were superior human beings because the culture at that time was under pinned by family values and maintained the respective interaction among the majority of citizens and had the directive of a formation of peaceful state of government. Unfortunately the greed the so called superior human beings had diminished their vision which resulted in Chaos in our country.

I remember during that chaos how my family was divided and how my mother died and my grieving dad drinking became an alcoholic. I also remember in the short period of time how my dad unsuccessfully tried to find a partner and the violence that dominated those efforts.All I can say is that your grandfather and great grandfather made sincere efforts to restore the honour of our family. Dad worked as a cabinet maker and he own a remember just about after my mother died how at night in the three room home my dad had built for us his family, how at night he cry about my mother and sing an Irish song about his " Bonnie lies over the ocean" and we would wake in the morning and face the choas of the state together with my dad becoming an alcoholic my dad would leave Lola and I alone and return in the evening I don't know how we as young ones managed, because Lola was 2 years old and I was 4.

I can only believe the truth that God will never leave us or forsake you is indeed true and we can trust God. During this upheaval of families. communities and country my grandma whom I had not yet acknowledged visited us and took Lola and I to live with her in her home, where my aunt and family had also sought refuge. Our grandma was a nurse who worked shifts in a nursing home and her love for us was obvious which caused in my opinion a division between our cousins and us.

During this time of Mourning I remember an incident that help shape my understanding of people and how deeply people hurt. My dad worked as a cabinet maker and owned. a Plymouth Dodge and during the mourning of my mum dad arrived with a dear friend of his one after and took Lola, Desmond and I for a ride Desmond was my dads nephew who also had grown up in our grandmas care. I just remember all of us excited and we drove all afternoon and into the night and woke up the following morning on a farm which was we told where mum my was born and grew up.

We were introduced to my mum's mum. and in comparison to my dads mum I sensed a problem. My mum's mum portrayed a hostile demeanor and I felt that there was no acknowledgement of me as her grandson but at the age of 4 I had less understanding except the love and career I had so far experienced as a human being. I joined the other boys on the farm while an ox was slaughtered to my amazement my dad slaughtered the ox.and the mourning of my mum became a memory as the family relatives and friends celebrated. The celebration went in throughout the day and as the darkness covered the farm the moon and starlight and the fires braking and cooking and eating continued.

I remember a funny part of the day when I saw older men give a chunk meat to the elder boys and the boys placed the meat under cover and all broke sticks and I to was encouraged to get 2 sticks. The sticks we used in stick fights and the group of boys battled one as others looked. As a 4 year old I stood watching and then decide to eat a piece of the meat, I was surprised when I heard shouting and all the boys gathered around me and the meat. Throwing their stick down and laughing and sat down to all enjoy the meat. I remember I could not understand the language but I knew as much to understand that the appreciated eating more than stick fights and I was treated with respect for daring to eat the meat .the day was tiring and as darkness fell all us boys fell asleep in a hut.

The following morning I awoke to see that the celebration was over with few elders tiding up and no sight of my dad , his car or his dear friend I looked to see Lola at my grandma side almost hugging her dress. I went towards them think that my grandma cares as I got closer I sensed the hostility again. As I got closer my grandma asked the boy what are the doing and by this time I was starting to understand the language which I remember my mum whisper in my ear. The boy replied we going to be river to wash and I will never forget the word that my grandma said in her language. " Take this boy with you all and don't bring him back he looks just like his father" Those word only made sense to me after the following experience.

When we reached the river it was exciting and the water was cool and flowing and the boys swam happily enjoying themselves while I stood on the bank watching them. Then one of them beckoned me to get in I stood there looking until he came out carried me on his shoulders and swam into the river, somewhere in the river it could easily be the centre he dumped me in the water and swam away I started to sink and struggle and every time I came up I saw all the boys on the bank watching that is when I decided to do what I had observed the boys moving their arms and kicking their feet there was no one in the river all were on the bank watching me. And I started to do what I had observed I became comfortable and continued in confidence and when I looked to the bank I saw the boys cheering and encouraging me towards them some were jumping up and down.

As I got closer to the bank I stood and walked to the bank where almost immediately we marched back to the farm so not patting my back and smiling. My grandma seemed to be waiting and as we came close to her I heard her asked why they bringing me back and didn't she say that she doesn't want to see me again because I look like my dad ? One of the older boy who may have been my cousin simple said,in the language " Granny this boy can swim," my grandma looked at me and I believe that it was the first time we recognised one another. She looked bewildered as she turned and walked away. I looked around and all the boys had moved away and only my cousin Desmond stood close by also looking stuned.

The next couple of days was really annoying as I realised we were abandoned and we were ingored and not fed. as I famiarised myself to the area as a 4 year old going on 5 I saw the farm was half way up a hill and below was a school and and shop then moving around the shop or school. I ventured one morning to this area and remember seeing a class room for the first time. And hearing children and teachers interacting. I don't remember going into the shop. One day I saw in distance over the hills a bus making it way towards us and as I watched it turned at shop near the school and people 2 or 3 people alighted.

It is still strange to me that I can't remember Lola or Desmond being with me may that me being a split image of my dad annoyed my grandma and as my mum had died she may have continued grieving as she looked at me with contempt. Honestly I can not remember how long this carried on but I do remember that the next bus I noticed in distance had me interested as the bus made the turn at the shop.A single of passenger alighted and entered the shop. I looked again and the figure was walking towards the hill and up the pathway to the farm. As the person drew closer I noticed it was a woman and stood up and watched to my amazement she was my dads mum I run excited to the hut were I knew Lola was.and shouted grannys coming, grannys coming.

Excited I saw Desmonds bright smile light up his handsome face we all ran to the viewing point and by this time our young eyes were full with joy as we ran down the hill. Granny had already placed her packets on the floor and lovingly cuddle us and kissed us and asked us how we were I remember saying I'm hungry and took out cakes from one of the packet and as we eat it did not escape me to notice that granny seemed to be in a hurry she almost herded us swiftly up to the main farm room where my grandma lived how she knew that I don't know we. following her now and the hot sun felt cool after announcing herself at the door my grandma invited her in .

The room was even cooler and was even cooler in my grandma's room now I understand why Lola spent her time sitting with grandma. My grandmas exchange greetings and engaged in a discussion that seem passive and fill with understanding. The next thing I remember is 3 of us walking downhill towards the shop While granny carried Lola . When we reached the shop I was surprised because it wasn't long before the bus arrived and stopped and granny and communicated with the driver who nodded in agreement and we were bustled on to the front seat. There hardly any other people in the bus. My granny went into the shop and without delay return with a packet which we later found to be goodies to eat.

The bus moved away from the shop and the driver caught my attention as he changed the gears and steered the bus skillfully i was amazed again we granny woke us up it was late in the evening and we we now in the city where granny loving guided us through the thin crowds and traffic into a bus that was idling and as soon as we we settled on a seat which accomodated us all . Granny fed us some good and as if the bus was happy it moved gentlly away from the bus stop. This time there were more people on the bus and the murmured conversation was soothing and being cuddled and hugged and kissed by my granny didn't suprise me because as a 4 year old I sensed love the day she took us into her home.

We were the last of the people alight the bus as our destination was one stop before the bus terminal. We followed granny as she walked down the entrance road to her property as as we saw the night lights flickering and granny stopped for a moment and took a deep breath. I felt good. No one was there to welcome us and granny called out ,Sunny! And Desmonds dad appeared with glee in his face he picked up Desmond and cuddled him, and there i stood Lola in granny arms and Desmond in his dads arms that is thenI knew we were loved and safe as my granny bent to kiss on my forhead . No one else at my grannys met us that night I suppose it was a bit late.

Granny bathed us and dressed us to sleep but not before telling us about God and asking us to kneel together with her as she prayed thanking God. It was not a long prayer as I would understand, I slept throughout the night and morning dawn and my granny started her day. She would encourage to wake up early and begin the day with prayer. I felt Good to be with my Granny especially when she fried pancakes for breakfast. The experience of being in on my grandma farm faded quickly in my memmory where it would stay but never be forgotten.

My granny continue to love us and train us in the ways of God. And some other really mistook us to be her children. As we rejoiced I don't remember specifically how my dad reacted when he saw us because by this time my dad was deeper into alcohol abuse and my granny kept us away from him. And we too stayed away from him remembering how he abandoned us but that would all change as dad embraced change in his life.

Termoil in our country was beginning to settle as the resistance movements against the greed and unaccountability or the governing authority was being unveiled. Granny registered me into St Augustine Primary School in the city at the age of 6 I would travel by bus to school with my cousins and those days school children under certain age traveled free.I remember armed soldiers and armed vehicles patrolling the suburbs were we lived. And remember the police capsizing the tables of vendors in an effort to discourage them from make a living.

By this time the few humanitarians and the people who cared were addressing the crisis that was unfolding and managed to hold the government of the day accountable for the unstable family lives that developed into the Welfare Society of our beloved country South Africa. The Welfare Society operated without bias at first, but because greed was overwhelming the representatives of the day the apartheid policies reigned and my granny and took two of my cousin and Lola and I out of the country into Swaziland where she had relatives. Let me say we almost escaped the full experience of the apartheid policies.

However because my granny was a registered nurse and by this time the Welfare Society operated with the efficiency of a secret department and because my granny was receiving a grant to take care of us and because we we now in another country it was a threat to the existence of the Welfare Society who demanded that we all return to South Africa or the grant would be terminated. At this point family we should be reminded of our Heavenly Father, whom we are so grateful for especially His loving attention to every aspect of our lives and remember forever God is always there to lend a helping hand when we need it most.

So fortunately after two years in exile living with our grandma's relatives and attending a Catholic School while receiving a grant the South African authorities finally convinced my granny to return with us by providing a two room home in Genoa Road off Quality Street,that is how I started my South African identity. We settled in South Africa and by this time the resistance movements had moved underground and there were negotiation of peace we had an experience of living together as citizens and could somehow associate with the. " superior human beings" this false sense of security was only an alarm of the greed and corruption that was being unvailed.

Nevertheless peace prevailed which blessed our countries efforts to reunite. By this time I was in standard one grade 5 in today's estimation and enjoying primary schooling at Austerville an Durban and participating in school sporting events and I even singing suprano in our school choir competition at the Durban City Hall and for the first time in my life I started to understand how life adjusts to the glory of God. And more importantly our relationship with God and the power of prayer.

Granny taught us to be Christian and before we left South Africa Lola and I were baptized into Christianity at St Emanuel Cathedral in Durban. Lola being Lorraine Annistaia Quarrie and me being Francois Augustine Quarrie. I had an amazing experience one day at work in the construction industry where as men we were discussing Christianity and I mentioned our baptism at the cathedral not realising that one of my colleagues was a volunteer at the cathedral and after a few weeks he returned with copies of our baptism certificates. I was a father at this time and all our children were growing. It was a pleasure for me to see our baptism certificates and which made me more confident in trusting God.

God is gracious to us all and all we have to do is study his word to become approved of him. Moving back to the events that treasured my life and which are etched into my memory I can honestly say that I grew fearing God and every time I lean to being naughty with intention of doing wrong God would with love and gentleness guide me into the path of righteousness and away from the roads that lead to evil. All praise be to God He is not a man and does not lie. He has blessed us with children and crowned us with grandchildren and our prayer as parents remains that God continues to guide our children our grandchildren and all our generation who love God and choose life. Everything is possible with God.

I may have taken a small break because my memory is also fading And I can only think about God's grace in my life. However, I will conclude this chapter with the experience of witnessing how my dad battled alcoholism which almost reduced him to being criminal and being imprisoned for 9 to 15 years. As I have already mentioned God's gracious and He gave my granny the wisdom to plead with the judge that my dad was not a criminal and that he was alcoholic of which plea the humble judge accepted and registered my dad into 3 year intensive a rehabilitation program in the Western Cape.

Life was starting to change in South Africa and this experience was the evidence. With my dad being safely taken care of in a Kraaifontein Rehabilitation Centre life almost looks normal. At school i started to gain more understanding and my dads letters to me from Kraaifontein were loving and encouraging and I finished primary education together with the top learners in those days we were still called pupils. End of chapter 1🙂